The Most Brutal Resume Review in Malaysia

If you follow me on Twitter you’ll know that I’m an anonymous satire account that pokes fun at the corporate culture in Malaysia also known as the Lanyard Life. 20,000 followers and almost 10 million impressions every month. I know, I know, it sounds great but why should you care?

Simple. Because I know what I’m talking about. My contents resonate with thousands of people daily because I know what they go through. I know how companies really work, and how job searches really work. I was rejected 200++ times when I was job searching, I know your pain.

So to answer your question, you should care because I made a lot of mistakes, so you should avoid them

 

 

Now you’re talking!

 I structure my resume review into three components: searchability, credibility, and readability

Great question! To be put it bluntly, ever notice if you ever job search and you go around dropping resume to every job you think you’ll fit and tadaaa nothing. No job call, no news, just plain silence?

 

Welcome to the resume black hole or getting ghosted. Why do people get ghosted? Simple. The volume is too many. For every job application, there are hundreds of applicants.

 

It’s made even worse when companies use software such as Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS) to filter through your resume. How do they filter? Keywords! So searchability is all about the right keywords to use so that when the software “reads” your resume it’ll improve your chances of getting flagged as “top applicant” to the recruiter. Avoid the resume black hole, eh.

 

So you’ve been picked up by the recruiter, now comes the harder part. What makes you a good candidate? What people always tell you is it’s all about the “fit”. Eh hello, no. It’s not about fit, it’s about RISK! Yes, can this candidate actually do the job I’m hiring for? How can I minimize the risk of hiring an incompetent candidate! This is the question many recruiters and hiring managers have.

 

Credibility portion address how to write your resume bullet so you give them a clear concrete way of understanding your strengths! LL has a very specific format that has been tested and proven over the years, gituhhh confident!

 

I’ll keep it short, readability is all about how readable is the resume. Can a machine read your resume easily? Will a human find it easy? The problem with 99% of people is they use all sorts of fancy graphics and machines can’t read them! With LL’s resume review, you get a clean, simple, and direct resume template as part of the review.

 

Harusss lah! I don’t take many resume reviews, and there is a reason why my price is high (not only because I’m a lanyard capitalist) because I read through every line on your resume. I spend an average 20 mins on each resume - sometimes more if I’m struggling to understand what this person is talking about! Tiberrr geram.

 

If you’re expecting LL to correct your resume and amend it and send it back to you, then sorry uollssssss. Not because I don’t want to, but because you need to learn how to do it for yourself. You’ll have to tailor your resume for each application that you apply for in the future (no generic ones!) so you need to learn this skill for yourself!  If you need more help on this, I believe there are other services online that do it for you.

 

For the first round: it's all about doing the right things. You'll get step-by step video instructions (resume strategy + demonstration) + keyword list for the job you're applying for using an actual ATS software that companies use.

For example, if you’re planning to apply for a job in digital marketing, LL will tell you exactly what keywords you must include that is compared to the job description that you’re applying for. Why? To improve your resume’s chances for getting picked by the machines!

You'll go through them, ammend it, and then send it back 

Second round: LL will go through line by line and leave a comment! Tadaaa we are done. Fast efficient and fits the busy life style of you Lanyards, gituhhh

For example, if you’re planning to apply for a job in digital marketing, LL will tell you exactly what keywords you must include that is compared to the job description that you’re applying for. Why? To improve your resume’s chances for getting picked by the machines!

 

 

Double review USD 35 (approximately RM150): Yes, lanyard pricing! Gituhh but truth to be told for me it's all about quality. I rather take more time going through your resume and charging for the quality for it, than charging a lower fees and just doing an average job.

The new service, everyone will go through double reviews of their resume. 1st round will be about getting the right content and writing into the resume, and the second round will be me going through line by line and leaving specific comments on your resume.

Think of it as a detailed "surgery" for your resume where the first round is "marking" the area to conduct surgery on and the second round is actually conducting that surgery, gituhh. If you can't afford it, do DM me on Twitter or Insta and we can work a payment plan of Rm50 for 3 months.

 

What do people say about your resume review?

 

 

Email me. I’ll give you a full refund. It’s not about the money for me (eh hello, dasar capitalist tak mengaku). But really, it’s not about the money. I rather refund you in full so that you’re happy and rather than keep your money and didn’t do you justice. If you’re asking for a full refund, I’ll ask for some feedback - 6 questions to be precise so that I can learn from you and improve.

 

Once you’ve paid you’ll get instruction on how to go about it. Generally, you’ll do the following:

• Email me (email will be provided after payment
• Send me your resume + a link to the job posting (on LinkedIn or etc) that you’re planning to apply
• Get your report in 48 hours max (that's the target! but pls don't kill me if I'm a little late)

 

 Okay sign me up!

What if I'm not ready to buy one now? That's okay! You can download this free resume template that I give all my paid client.